Safe

For all of the times that I reached out
and grasped on empty air
for all of the times I was alone
and wished that you were there

beware of your dreams,
beware of the truth
the cold and hard disease

when the void reaches back
caresses your skin
you bleed from within

alone is what’s keeping me safe

Who Needs A Heart?

I’m playing our song
I can’t let go
of the dreams I had with you
of you
take me back
rewind and replay
pain is glorious when it ends in bliss
not this

I’m playing your song, break my heart
all the refracting pieces
spread and flung
cradle me close instead
who needs a heart that can be broken
by nothing but words

Slightly Off

I am the girl with the wombat boots
just a tiny bite off, see me coming one,
coming two tree for the castle
a literary illusion
for your yes only

I am the girl with the flying air
they say I was mad
from words unborn around distant stars
dust already before sun rinse
all my plains away

I am the girl that will get you god
Hook, line and sinner;

and all the swords they gave you
nothing but lies upon lines
a sting to hang yourself with

Wish

Would I was a child of word
Would that I could go unheard
In my masters golden world

Would I could be Tinuviel
Would I could be where elves dwell
Lothlorien or Rivendell

Would I could sit beneath this fire
Would I could know my treasured Sire
On his quest to guard the Shire

Would my heart was not so sore
Would that I was waiting for
Returning kings of Numenor

Would I was Undomiel
Would I was under that spell
A Elbereth! Gilthoniel!

Leave-taking

I will count all of our goodbyes
string them together on a cord
like little bruises to wear on my skin
around my wrists and neck

At night they shall warm me
alone in a bed for two
and the people will gaze upon them each day
like medals worn on the wrong part of me

I will count all our goodbyes
on their endless string
leave me without numbers
keeping myself company with my own voice
creating answers from thin air

I will count the goodbyes because
no matter what else is true
you will always leave me again
and nothing can make you stay

Except for the next goodbye

My Mind

slick surface of my mind
mercury mine field
exclusively penned words of elusive red
coaxing the thunderstorm down
evoking, provoking, evolving, revolving around
breath on skin

bright white light like hair
means nothing except inside my head

No More A-Roving

And the sky is burning, the sky is burning
trying to make up for my eyes
and the world is turning, the world is turning
spinning dizzying like my days
Oh give me that potion you spoke of
to take all my pain away
The draught to kill all my feelings
be they whatever they may
Don’t worry about my happiness
there is none where I live
Don’t worry about my love and hope
I have neither to give.
And the sky is ablaze, the sky is ablaze
in lieu of the heart in my chest
and darkness will fall, yes darkness must fall
and maybe I shall find rest.

In Your Eyes

In a world of burning water
I arrive as my father’s daughter
The beats in my bones reminds me of home
but I will make this place my very own

I am looking for hope, make it only a ray.
As you wink and then leave, are there stars in your eyes?
Is it just a trick of the light?
It might.

We have travelled so far with the shards of our past
Take a sip of Mount Milgrom, make nostalgia last,
Just because we left behind everything we had,
it doesn’t mean it was all bad.
Does it mean that we are mad?

Put your smile to my lips, put your hand in my hand
We were no-one when we found this uncharted land
And look at us now. Are we who we wanted to be?
Will you be you? Can I still be me?

I can be me –
reflected in you, Reyes

The Song of the Sun

I cannot hear the song of the sun anymore
all stones are wrapped in iron chains
turning and churning
but captured.

I cannot hear the song of the sun anymore
deserted silver sands
freezing with blank indescription
nor hot nor cold not dry nor damp
not even the chafing of sand.

I cannot hear the song of the sun anymore
moonless midnight of hidden storm
skies clouded with grey forgetting
hunched up lonely under the blankets
listening intently
hearing absolutely nothing

I cannot hear the song of the sun anymore
and with every line that passes
the distance grows
inseparable, untouching
deaf and dumb and blind and numb
unable to hear the song
much less write a new one.

Lies on the Phone

And so we lie to ourselves on the phone
pretend
let’s make it better than it is
pretend.
it appears you’re fine
(I’m fine)
and if you are
(fine)
so am I.

Let’s play pretend.

And so we lie to each other on the phone.
I’m fine
I’m fine
alright
yeah, fine.
But the lies we spread
over the bloody mess of ourselves
doesn’t help a bit
too gauze thin
holding nothing
hiding nothing.

We know each other to well.
We know it’s just pretend.

In the end
we both bleed lonely
and knowing